deasphodelisnotameadow:

4 May 2007
I’m reminded a little bit of my college girlfriend… whose parents had the largest Santa Claus collection on the East Coast.
Brotherhood 2.0 from April 26, 2007 (via aremissing)

labyrinth-without-edge:

In which John tries to lick the yogurt off his nose. He looks angry. Or maybe just really focused.

gerrymanderer:

I’m just going to leave this little throwback here with absolutely no context.

gerrymanderer:

I’m just going to leave this little throwback here with absolutely no context.

I’ve got the Strawberry Hill if you’ve got the toilet paper.
And if you’re not going to eat five sheets of toilet paper while discussing the political situation in Nepal, well, I’m going to.
Oh, wait, I forgot to show you my home library! Hooray home library! OK, Hank, we start off with Shakespeare, poetry, reference, reference, reference. Then we got Islam, we got wicker basket, then we got Christianity — you have to separate them with the wicker basket so they don’t get mad at each other. Then we’ve got Chinese religions, and then we’ve got some history and social sciences. Author copies of An Abundance of Katherines, author copies of Looking for Alaska, foreign editions of both books, and children’s books. Then in the main room, we have first editions of contemporary fiction, literary biography, southern studies. Then up here, we got novels by dead guys, stuff Mark Twain wrote, and travel. Then we have novels by living authors, we have young adult fiction, mystery novels, literary criticism, and of course, humor. And then over here we have my collection of first editions of books that are about conjoined twins.
John Green (via runalovegood)
Part five: Songs. Hank, I don’t know what your song is gonna be about tomorrow, but I do know one thing. Someday, somewhere, you must write the song that was suggested by Nerdfighter Nate Junglepants. Nate Junglepants suggested that you write a 1960’s-style protest song that’s about why ninjas and pirates need to put away their mutual hatred for each other to bring about world peace. Hank, I think this is a great idea, because someone has got to do something about the endless cycle of recrimination and violence that goes on between ninjas and pirates. I mean, Hank, ninjas and pirates are like the Sunnis and Shiites of hypothetical reality. I mean, I would write the song myself, but I don’t think I would do a very good job. Uhm, it could be like, “All we are saying, is give ninja-pirate peace a chance.” Yeah, I think you can do better than that.
John Green (via runalovegood)

But since you called me on it, I’ll explain it- what I was thinking, was that, uhh, I spent all of these years being really mean to my ex-girlfriends. You know, because they dumped me, and the manners in which they dumped me were kind of seemingly excessively cruel.

But now when I look back on it, it doesn’t seem like this dichotomy, where I was good, and they were bad, and I stayed with them, and they left me… It seems more like-thank God I ended up with the Yeti!

And maybe they’ve been through enough, because what I’ve realized is just because you date someone for 2 and a half years, and dump them over Instant Messenger, doesn’t mean that it’s entirely your fault that the relationship ended. In fact, you could make an argument that I wasn’t a great boyfriend until I met the Yeti. And now, you could make the argument that I’m not a great husband, although I did just mow the lawn!

John Green (via runalovegood)
Anyway Hank, I’m extremely grateful to all the nerdfighters in Indianapolis who offered to help me to find a way to lick a cat because my back up plan was to go to PetSmart and be like, “hey, do you mind if I look at that kitten?” and then they’d give it to me me and I’d be like [licks] and then I’d run!

John Green

Can we bring back punishments?  There are so many good punishment ideas in old B2.0 videos.  

(via runalovegood)
Hank, I have a very interesting piece of news. Our secret brother Tom used a machine that involves some magic and a lawnmower in order to calculate the midpoint between you in Missoula and me in Indianapolis, and it turns out that the midpoint between us is a town called Winner, South Dakota. Winner, South Dakota, Hank! As in the opposite of Loser, South Dakota!
John Green (via runalovegood)
Hank, I don’t want to exaggerate the effect that this project is having on my life, but it’s sort of starting to make me believe in humanity again. I find myself saying and thinking outlandishly optimistic things lately, like I’ll be staring outside at this weather and I’ll say “Wow, that’s gonna be really great for the plants!” I mean, honestly, Hank, this is really the first time that I’ve started to feel like the world contains more Nerdfighters than nerd haters. My entire life, I’ve thought that I was best suited for the town of Loser, South Dakota, but I’m starting to change my mind. I find myself thinking “maybe Nerdfighting is for winners.”
John Green (via runalovegood)
Hank, I don’t want to exaggerate the effect that this project is having on my life, but it’s sort of starting to make me believe in humanity again. I find myself saying and thinking outlandishly optimistic things lately, like I’ll be staring outside at this weather and I’ll say “Wow, that’s gonna be really great for the plants!” I mean, honestly, Hank, this is really the first time that I’ve started to feel like the world contains more Nerdfighters than nerd haters. My entire life, I’ve thought that I was best suited for the town of Loser, South Dakota, but I’m starting to change my mind. I find myself thinking “maybe Nerdfighting is for winners.”
John Green (via runalovegood)
I hope this is the worst I ever look on Brotherhood 2.0. How am I gonna meet Judy Blume with this hair?
John Green (via runalovegood)